Today went terribly.
Earlier today...
I hit her..with everything I had in me. She locks herself in, crying.
They get mad. I get mad. All my feelings are let out at once. A hard slap on the face releases tears.
I drop to the floor, screaming, shaking and crying. Throwing my hands around, banging on the walls and throwing anything in sight. The image of a happier family without me kept replaying in my head. Over and over.
He ran into the room, furious. Picked my up by the back of my sweatshirt and tried to throw me against the wall. SHUT UP! was all I saw in his eyes...
She panicked. Running after him before he could do damage. Laying on the floor crying, I was. What was happening? What did I cause? Did they hate what I did? Of course they did. They continued to yell.
I screamed: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU GUYS DON'T NEED ME! I'M WORTHLESS TO THIS FAMILY! I JUST WANT IT TO END NOW!"
I broke their hearts. I made her cry out of pain. I made her cry from a broken heart. I made him angry with my screams of selfishness.
For once, she at on the ground with me as I cried. I look up to see her eyes filled with tears. What have I done? I couldn't even look into her eyes. Ashamed..
I looked at the damage I've done. I can't say sorry to them. The meaning is useless now. If what I did kills her, I'll never forgive myself.
Story of a stupid girl.
