I have this fear, a fear of a person's reaction.
It's hard to tell who I can trust lately, but the one I say I do trust, I just can't open up. I'm ashamed of myself; can't even open up to somebody I like a lot and trust. I feel so bottled up because of this fear. It's beyond stupid. It's gotten so bad that I rarely talk about myself and nobody knows a thing about me. The only thing they do know is that I can listen and tell them how I feel about THEIR life. I'm scared of what others will think, scared how they will react. And because of this, I ruined a really close friendship with someone. Someone wonderful and caring, talented and gentle, one of the smartest girls you'll ever meet. Then because I couldn't speak up, I lost another..and another..and another. I'm sad that I can only speak like this through a monitor and not to a face, with my fingers and not my lips. The only thing I do now is damage my eyes.
This is a problem.
I'm scared.
